Happy Adoption Day Cleo. I want to call it your birthday but… we never really got to find out when that was. In fact, there’s a lot we never get to know about you, how you were, who your mother was etc, and now I don’t think we ever will. Originally I was going to fill this with the same melodrama as my last post. Since that post, I remember that very night the “signs” I read about from various grieving pet owners on le Reddit appeared, and continually did. Hearing you grumbling outside my door for food, seeing a hollow image of you staring at me from the bottom of the stairs, continual dreams about you when actually when I had you I rarely had any. Certain ones being sleep paralysis. Could all take place in the mind of course. I choose not to fill it with that same melodrama (It feels that way but believe it or not it’s subdued from talking about the emotions of this year and everything with that, when it’s still raw to me. Because talking to you is a lot like just talking to my sister given she owns the Dorris Haven but what I want to try and do if I can every year even if maybe nothing at all exists beyond this life or not– is check in with you every year. If anything, my sister can know what my mental state is while paying tribute to a lovely brown bundle, as the Candle dictates. Also something for my future self to read. Pretending that it does, and if it doesn’t, once again it's a good backdrop for my delusional funny music career thing if I ever do a music video. I already know the purrfect song for you. Right now, I am just disappointed that much like the final months that you were alive, I’ve just been getting angry at what happened to me ranting online instead of spending this day doing what I wanted… writing this post to celebrate you… the Garfield video I did dedicated to you like 6-7 years ago revisited. No time for that. More self-destruction on the internet. I wish there was more to add, but maybe next year if I’m still around I’ll have something else better. I feel I’ve let myself down again by doing that. It’s been the hardest year for me. First my relationship, then you, then someone close to my mum passing, but I have belief that it can get better still. I definitely believe in when the bar is so low like this from all I’ve experienced, there’s too much possibility where it could get better. I still want to archive all the photos/videos I possibly can of you but life is just way too hard rn. (This is finishing at 12:00 so I feel like I’ve let myself and you down again I’m really sorry, but this is a time capsule of the person I was this year, so in some ways that makes sense)

Cleo was a beautiful and very good girl. She may now be gone, but she will never be forgotten by her friends and family, and she will always be with Russell and his loved ones, even in spirit. ❤️‍🩹

You have brightened many days, Cleo. You put smiles on faces of many people, even those you didn't know. Wherever you are now, may peace and joy follow you. Wishing you the best!